A) NO!
I offer a safe and consensual environment where both parties are clear on the boundaries of spanking/C.P play which doesn't incorporate anything of a sexual nature or nudity.  Not only that I am a happily married woman and would not dream of being unfaithful to my husband, I suppose I hold traditional values closely. Nor do I enjoy a session where a sexual connotation is brought into the scenario. i.e you were caught in a compromising situation or I caught you masturbating! As these are a natural part of our personal lives I would not punish you for that.
Please DO NOT offend me by asking or trying your luck as I may offend you with my retort!
Obviously some people have an inability to read so I will reiterate this "I DO NOT AND WILL NOT HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH YOU NOR ALLOW YOU TO MASTURBATE" and no amount of money will persuade me so please do not waste my time and your own time in asking. There are females out there who do offer this kind of service please seek it from them.
Q) Can I relieve myself in your bathroom/bedroom/in a condom?
A) Quite simply the answer is NO! You can do this in your own time, in your own personal space not mine!